im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
They are going to name an STD after you.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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