If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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