He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize