so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
