What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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