I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
We have so much sex to catch up on
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
