i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
