i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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