i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
