After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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