Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
