The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
