you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
