I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
