It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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