I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We have so much sex to catch up on
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
