You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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