Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
