It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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