I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
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