Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
