She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
