two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
