Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
