I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize