Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
