it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
