i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
