You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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