i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I met the friendliest cop last night
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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