very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
