The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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