Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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