Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
