Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
