just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
