i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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