I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
