even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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