Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
