what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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