As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
