love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
