i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
