He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
