sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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