I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
