i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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