carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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