Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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