I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
