My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
