idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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