If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
