It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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