So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Come on in and take your pants off
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