I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
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