But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I still have a little drunk in my system
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
