Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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