You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Randomize