Yo dont text me then not text me
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
