Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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