Porn is love you can see.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
