this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
