You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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