she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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