Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
