im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
